Tuesday, January 27, 2009

In Which We Get Vapid!

We take a break now from the indie films and Deep Thoughts,
To bring you something a bit more conventional:
Whining About Stuff That Annoys Us!

Now when it comes to clothes, I believe the more self-expression you can fit in a flattering way, the better! Clothes are all about function and expression, and should make you look your best. I've seen people rock out the oddest things, and do it well.
I am no expert, nor do I want to be. I routinely disagree with 'Best & Worst Dressed' lists, because I cheer on the folks who dare to do something interesting and different in the unforgivable face of the camera.

Even so, there are some things that just annoy me to no end.
And it just wouldn't be the internet if I didn't get to complain about them! :D

The Burberry Scarf

GASP! I know. But honestly, what IS the point? True, I am a deal-finder, I don't like spending an obsene amount on clothes...UNLESS there is very high quality behind the expensive item, and it is something I need. Like a winter coat, or a pair of boots. And if it is a frivolous item, it had best be so wildly original, so unique, so ME, for me to spend a large amount of moolah. Which brings us to this little scrap of material. There is only one reason you would buy this thing, and that's to flaunt a label. If you wanted a warm scarf, you could have bought it much cheaper, or from a local maker. If you liked the pattern, buy the knock-off at Old Navy. Face it, the only reason to own one of these is to show off the label, and that is gross. Especially in this economy. Shame on you.

The Ugg

Not surprising, and torn apart often, BEHOLD! The Uggs. Granted, I'm hardly the first to complain about these things. But even with all the so-called high fashion folks crying NAY!, they live on. WHY?! When they first came along, I didn't pay much mind. I heard they were compfy, but they looked boring and not my style, so whatever. But then...they invaded. I don't think they're particularly ugly in and of themselves, but at this point in time, nothing says "I want to be a part of the herd! I want the most boring pair of shoes I can find! I want to look like bleach-blonde drunk-chav at the party last weekend!" quite like a pair of Uggs. Now granted, I've known a few people who pull them off...mostly due to the fact that the rest of their attire is wonderfully put-together and classy. I can count those people on one hand.

Apparently, Australia is laughing at us for these. These are the kind of boots sheep farmers wear to walk between the house and the barn, folks. And you're wearing them with denim mini-skirts on Rodeo Drive.

The Croc

Again, this is a case of something WE ALL KNOW is ugly still being in circulation. They are an eyesore. They are pointless.
"But Amy, they're so comfortable!"

...So? Sweatpants are comfortable, that doesn't mean you should wear them outside the house. And besides, have you seen these? Or these? ALSO CROCS. They make attractive shoes too people, my mum has a pair. The stylish ones are just as compfy, made out of the same stuff.
So your excuse? GONE.

The only people who should be wearing THESE things are under the age of 10, or folks in a profession that requires them to be on their feet all the time, such as nurses and waitresses. And even then, you should just go ahead and take them off after work.

The Croc-Ugg.

...Enough Said. My soul dies a little.

The Skinny Jean

This is one I have mixed feelings on, because a good skinny jean can either go very very right (Audrey Hepburn, The Strokes) or very, very, very bad (Audrey Kitching, that kid at school who may be a perfectly healthy weight but when he puts on a pair, he looks like a vacuum-sealed sausage who's poo'd his pants). People, use your skinny jeans with discretion. Because everyone loves Audrey Hepburn, but we're getting a little sick of scene kids.

The Douchebag

Forgive the gross misuse of the word gay, for otherwise I absolutely love the latter image. Anyway, yes. Men, women do like a man who knows how to dress. This is why we do not like the Douchebag look. Wear a shirt that fits. Fake tans are gross. Don't wear a band shirt and/or a Von Dutch label unless you actually listen to the band and/or know who Kenny Howard is.

Er, unless you want to attract Ugg-Chav, which I guess is okay. Everyone should have dreams!

That concludes my weekly quota of elitism, enjoy your day :D

~ Amy


Blogger k8 said...

ROFL . . couldn't agree more!

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHA this post made me laugh out loud at my desk!
-Sarah Burke

12:37 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

I am so totally out of fashion that other than Crocs (and of course skinny jeans) I was unaware of some of these particular atrocities. My current boots (about to be retired due to a broken zipper) came from K-Mart about 4 years ago. I'd probably wear Ug's if they really kept my feet warm and weren't too expensive, but then I actually spend time in the sheep barn in the winter... I'm too old for skinny jeans and I agree totally that Crocs are ugly, but I don't know any females who wear them.

I do think that the whole notion of dressing with the crowd is one that we could happily dispense with. After all if we did that perhaps we would simply all shine out as the individuals we are. I've watched enough What Not To Wear to know that following that particular path is apt to get you ridiculed in some circles, but spending outrageous amounts of money on clothing when other people don't have warm clothes at all, or food, or shelter, or running water, or the where with all for a mother to stay with her infant, well it just seems a bit obscene. Which is probably why I wear sweaters, socks, hats, mittens that I make myself, even if they wouldn't pass muster with Stacey and Clinton. You on the other hand manage to always look spectacular, despite the fact that you never look like the clonish crowd. I just don't have your artistic flair (which you clearly inherited from your mom!).

10:45 PM  

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